forever dreamer?
Maybe this will ease the pain..?

Talking here...goin back to the past..opening the doors...new ones, closing the old doors forever..
I'm sad, enormously sad..it's not cause of some sad things and problems this time..
It's cause he is far.. and I need him so much...
I never thought I'd meet someone like him, someone who will love me for who I am..
not trying to change me, exactly taking me with all my fears, and demons.. for exactly what I am..
He is so different, so bright like a light, the light I've been waiting for so long..
Love comes when u already lost the hope..
Comes and takes you to a new level, unexpected, unreal...so beautiful..
What I had in my past, nah.. not even close to what I feel for Him, and it's beautiful to dream about my future with him, cause Im sure we will me together... Never been so sure :)

Over this huge distance, he found me, let me in to his heart.. heh.. really, my hero, sadly I understood what I feel for him when it almost was too late, yes.. loosing someone u understand that u need him, and can't live without him..
I know we will be together soon.. but seeing him, and not being able to hold him, kiss him..caress him, makes me so sad.. angry..desperate..
I want to drawn in his eyes and love.. be so close, to feel him breathing.. his heartbeat..
No I can't.. I'm smiling every time I think of him.. and get so sad.. when I know his far..
Can't even explain what I feel inside.. all so mixed together.. first time in my life, I don't care for what other say about us...even my friends, everyone who thinks it's just an illusion, joke or whatever.. I don't care.. just shut up u all.. no one can understand us, and no one has the right to judge or say smth about him.. He's mine.. and I won't let anyone to say or think bad bout him.. my angel.. my future..

There should be a reason, I lost the hope to love and be loved..
I almost decided to have a child, from a person who is..who was just a transition point..
Wanned to stop this loneliness, by dedicating my life to a child.. just me and the child..
Thx God.. that didn't happen..

thank you amor, for loving me like that, for giving me that happiness no one ever gave me.. I thought it doesn't exist... I was wrong.. it's you.. the reason for all.. to live, to fight, to love you..